


Oh, brother

by CheezPleez



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: BAMF Pepper Potts, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Intersex Loki (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Canon Compliant, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Pepper Potts, Protective Thor (Marvel), Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Has A Heart, child Loki, de-aged loki, mention of periods
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23875723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheezPleez/pseuds/CheezPleez
Summary: so much has changed and been lost in Loki's life and it has changed him. the events of Sakarr and the nightmares it brought have shown him how much he truly has and how much he needs his brother more than ever but fate is cruel as he works to make a better life for himself however he can.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Loki, James "Bucky" Barnes & Loki, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Loki & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Loki & Peter Parker, Loki & Sam Wilson, Loki & Steve Rogers, Loki & Thor, Pepper Potts & Thor, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Comments: 10
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

He scanned the ship looking for any small space. Just enough to hide himself for a time. It was finally over. He was away from the Grand Master. He could feel himself shaking as he pushed the thought from his mind. He needed a safe place to break down. One where no one could touch him. He spotted a small supply closet and slid inside quietly closing the door. He shook as he hugged himself. Fear and relief washing over him. When it was revealed to the grand master that he could use glamour he was paraded around as whatever he wanted to see. It wasn’t until Gast accidentally saw his Joten form that his true nature was revealed. He was stripped down and shown off like a sideshow exhibit. An “expert” was asked to come in and explain the different parts of his anatomy. All bets were off once he saw what Loki had to offer. He shuddered curling in tighter on himself. He knew he had become hysterical but at this point he didn’t care. 

He didn’t hear the closet door open and was unaware anyone was there until Thor was holding him to his chest and rocking him gently as he rubbed his back. He held him as he screamed and cried cursing the grand master and his very existence. Once he settled down Thor continued to hold him. He gently told him it would be ok as he ran his fingers through his hair. He didn’t know where they would end up but for now this nightmare was over and for a while he felt safe with his brother.

A few days later Bruce quietly came into the room Thor had given them. He had opted for a space with the remaining people of Asgard so that Loki could have some semblance of privacy. He shared the room with Banner from time to time but he was busy helping others aboard the ship. “Thor tells me you are a healer?” He looked over at him. “I wouldn’t go that far. I know enough to help but I am not licensed or anything. Do you need something?” He shook as he tried to find the words. “I think...I would feel more comfortable if you could….. Check something for me. I’m experiencing…..discomfort as a result of some of the grand masters…..actions.” Bruce’s expression softened “Anything you say to me stays here between us. I promise you that. I can take a look if you want me to.” Loki moved toward his room and Bruce followed. When he removed his clothes Bruce turned slightly green for a moment before releasing a deep breath. Marks of abuse littered his body some new and some very old and improperly cared for. He was surprised when Loki took things a step further and turned to his Joten form. He was slightly aware of it from Thor but had never seen it.

“Ok what am I looking for here?” Loki sat on the bed “I think it would be best if you started with my….my um” he looked down to his groin. It was then that Bruce noticed his physical makeup was intersex. “Ah I see. Well I can see some irritation. Is that what was bothering you? Um, I hope I'm not too forward but can you get pregnant? Also do you have a cycle?” Loki stiffened at his questions. "From what I have come to understand my mother kept me on….birth control of sorts. I have not had my cycle since……." Bruce saw his eyes as they stared off into nothing. 

"Ok. If you are comfortable I think it's best I do a pelvic exam. I just have to go grab a few things from the kit. It shouldn't take long." Loki nodded but said nothing else. Bruce returned with the med kit and put on some gloves. "I apologize this is not going to be too comfortable." Loki said nothing, only laying back and making access ready for him. His whole response made Bruce want to take the ship back to sakarr so that he could pound Gast into the ground. 

"I think I found the issue. Um….did someone insert anything as a form of contraceptive?" Loki whimpered a little before he spoke. "The Other…..Thanos ordered him to stop my cycles…..he did something." Bruce cringed. "I'm going to guess that whatever they used was dislodged. I can attempt to remove it if you like but it will probably hurt." Loki sat up a moment "could…...you ask Thor to be here? He knows how to help." Bruce nodded "yeah not a problem. A hand to hold would be a great idea." 

Thor arrived a few minutes later and listened as Bruce carefully explained his findings and what he was going to do. As he carefully removed the object Loki cried out. Thor held his hand as Bruce continued. After a moment he removed the barbaric looking implant. "Ok I'm going to give you a shot of antibiotics. Let me know if anything changes. I'll gladly check it." Loki nodded "Thank you….I know it doesn't seem like it but you have provided me with more comfort than i deserve."  
"Everyone deserves comfort and safety Loki. Don't ever let anyone convince you that you don't deserve that or decency and respect." Loki nodded again and began to dress without a word.

Three weeks on the ship had been a true test. Thor planned on heading to Midgard and they were nearly there when Loki saw the ship appear. He raced to Thor. "Get everyone who can't fight off this ship now please." Thor crossed his arms tightly "we do not know for sure if they mean us harm." He shook his head "there is no room to negotiate in the Mad Titans plans. Please listen to me. I will tell them to evacuate myself if I have to." Thor conceded. "Fine. Tell them anyone who cannot defend us gets on the escape vessel."

They had just loaded the last of the people when the hull of the ship tore open. Valkyrie went with the others to protect them while the others stayed and fought. It was a massacre, over in mere minutes. Loki looked on in horror as Thor and the Hulk struggled to stop Thanos. He finally flicked Hulk out of the ship as if he were an insect and set his sights on Thor. Before he could land a final blow Loki choked out a sob.

Thanos grinned as he moved toward him. "Well I see even my bad children find their way to me." He glanced back at Thor who had not moved and nodded. "We are done here. We have the stone and my lost child. Leave him." They disappeared leaving Thor to die alone on the burning ship.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanos handed Loki off to Ebony Maw. He was briefly relieved to learn that the Other had met his demise during the chitauri attack but he quickly learned that Maw was much more cruel and nasty by comparison. He was punished for his years of disobedience and for his failure in New York. when Maw was tired of his screams he simply had his mouth sewn shut. When he got tired of seeing him cry he covered his face and continued his work. It only stopped when Thanos returned with news of the location of two infinity stones on midgard.

“Send the asgardian with the team to collect the mind stone. His skills will be useful there. You go for the time stone. Bring them back to me or don’t return.” Maw turned to Loki. “If you fail you had better hope you don’t survive.”

It was almost too easy to find the soul stone. It had somehow been attached to a life form but not in the way the ether was attached to Jane.This creature was living, thriving even loving life it’s self. He hesitated to do as instructed until he thought of what life had taken from him. His mother, his home, his brother, his friend. All of it gone. He had nothing in the world but to serve Thanos or die a quick death. The being and his companion quickly disappeared but it was simple for Loki to use his magic so that they could follow. They had them trapped and It would all be over soon enough until a figure emerged nearby. When they came into view he gasped at the sight of Captain Rogers. In all the confusion he took his chance to flee as the others all fought for the stone and their lives. Clearly not realizing who it was The captain aimed for the would-be runaway and sent the shield smashing into him. He smashed into the pavement and was gone.

Widow glanced over at the runner that Steve took out. Something made her take a look at him as they were about to retreat. “Ummm Cap….we got a problem……” He ran over and looked over her shoulder at the crumpled body on the ground. “Shit. Take him with us. Leave everyone else.” She was about to protest but he didn’t give her the chance as he scooped Loki up. “We gotta go now.” 

When Loki woke he was in a clean room. When he saw Bruce next to him reading a book he figured he must finally be dead. “Oh hey. You’re up. Welcome to Wakanda.” He was shocked to find he was very much alive thanks to the heart monitor near him. “Why didn’t he let me die?” Bruce could feel his heart break. “Loki no, you didn’t deserve that. Steve brought you here because Thanos couldn’t reach you here.” He shook his head grabbing at his matted hair. “Nowhere is safe from the mad titan. Not Asgard, or Midgard or a spaceship in the void. He always finds what he wants. Please tell me Thor has returned. You survived, surely he has as well.” 

“Loki, I’m sorry we haven’t seen or heard from him yet.” Loki let out a wail that broke his heart to pieces to hear. Shuri had just stepped into the room to check on them. “Dr Banner, the Captain needs you, I will take over things here.” He nodded and stood up. Before he left he wrapped Loki in a hug. “We’ll make it through. I promise you we will.” Shuri took a seat in Bruce’s chair. “Good afternoon. I am Shurri. Steven tells me that you are Thor’s Brother.” He turned his head away from her “I’m no one’s brother now.” She gently took his hand. “You are always someone’s sibling even if they are gone. I am truly sorry for your loss. Do you need anything to eat or drink? It has been a few days since your arrival.” He turned to look at her. “Water please.”

That afternoon something was happening. He could see groups, armies organizing outside his window. He saw the captain and two other men calling out orders sending people different directions. Shurri came into his room and closed the blinds. “We are going into lock down. There are invaders approaching. They are here for the mind stone. Your room will be locked and sealed only myself or a few others can open it. You will be safe here. We are going to draw them outside the city.” he laid back in the bed. “If they come for me just let them kill me.” She crossed her arms. “I will not allow that to happen. No one dies on my watch. When all this is said and done I think you would benefit from a group therapy session. Between you and Sergeant Barnes I certainly have my hands full.” 

He could hear the sounds of a battle raging in the distance. Each crash and boom sent him curling tighter on himself. He then heard a commotion in the building as alarms sounded. He knew it was not safe, nowhere was safe when it came to Thanos. He took a chance and glanced out the window. It was then that he saw it, a figure crashing down into the middle of the battle field taking down the army by the dozens in one strike. Lightning surged across the battle. “Thor? THOR!” He had to get out, he had to go to his brother. He struggled with the door. His magic was seemingly useless. He screamed and banged hoping Shurri could hear him. It was no use. He waited in the corner and prayed to all the powers in the world that his brother would survive and come to him. It seemed as suddenly as the sound of the battle erupted it was dying off until he felt a strange sensation. When Shurri opened the room there was nothing left but dust. She looked back at Banner. “He’s gone…..What do we tell Thor?”   
“We tell him nothing. He didn’t know he was here and he won’t know now. I will alert the team to keep it secret.” She nodded in agreement. “Yes. That seems best.”


	3. Chapter 3

When his eyes opened again he was somewhere else. If he didn’t know better it was the room in Wakanda but it was different somehow. Almost faded. He saw Shuri come in followed by Bruce. “He’s gone..” He looked around the room. “I’m here. Bruce, where is Thor? I need to see him. I need to see my Brother.” They walked out as if he was not there. “We tell him nothing.”   
He raced after them pushing through people until he saw an odd sight. Two men talking to the Captain. “Steve what is your problem man?”   
“Stevie? What’s wrong talk to us?” They both looked over at him “Hey it’s you. Feeling any better?” He paused. He felt nothing. “I...don’t think they can hear us. I think...we are ghosts.” They both looked at him “I know I didn’t get hit so...how did I die?” He shrugged “I don’t think it is the result of a battle.” His attention was quickly drawn to a figure storming into the room. “Thor!” He ran over to the man hoping he could somehow see him. “Thor listen to me please!” He instead sat next to Steve and wrapped an arm around him. The one man growled as he stepped forward “He better keep than hand above his waist” he snapped. The other man snickered “I thought you swore there was nothing going on there.” 

Loki couldn’t help but smile. “Thor would never take advantage of a broken lover however if memory serves me he is quite fond of the Captain. Is that a problem….”  
“Barnes, James...Bucky Barnes and yes...yes it is. I just got that punk back I can’t compete with a literal god mackin on him.” The other man snorted “He’s right you are the jealous type. Bet it burned you to see him smoochin Sharon in Germany huh?” He shook his head “Nope I’ve got plenty more to offer than her EVEN if she’s Peg’s spawn I’m still the genuine article.”  
“Well Genuine article looks like we are as good as gone so enjoy the view.” They began to walk around Wakanda. They quickly collected many who were as they were including Wakanda’s king.

“I fear this has something to do with the infinity stones. Thanos wiped out half of all living beings but he could not expunge them. Perhaps we can find our way back to where we belong.” He was now commanding the situation. It seemed in the blink of an eye the world before them changed. Thor disappeared from Wakanda leaving Loki to wonder where he was. The Captain was in and out but not constantly present. He noticed the King watching the people around him. “It has been only a few days and yet…. Do they look changed to you Loki?” He took a long look at everyone. “Yes, they do seem to appear much older. Is it possible that we may have experienced time at a different rate?”

“Are you saying my Stevie is getting old without me?” James looked broken at the idea. “Well that is generally what happens. His aging may be slowed by his serum similar to how Thor …” He realized he hadn’t seen Thor in days. Where was he? Groot presented the possibility that he went with the other guardians. “This would be so much easier to fix were we not tethered to this location.” After a while Steve disappeared. It had been weeks since they had seen anyone other than Shuri and Wakanda’s regular inhabitants. “You don’t think he’s gotten himself killed do you?” Loki sat next to the sergeant “I don’t know what to think. Although this is not his home. Perhaps in light of things he went back there. I’m sure there is some corner of the world that needs his protection.” Sam joined them a while later. “I wonder how the others are doing. I never thought I would miss Nat’s bad attitude so much.” Bucky smiled “Even the KGB couldn’t break that little shit. Sure as hell tried though. She’s tough, she’ll take care of the others.”   
“So what was Thor like growing up? Was he a good brother?” Loki looked over at Sam.

“Mostly yes. He cared for me when others wouldn’t but even he had his moments. I fear I was the horrible brother. I tricked him , hurt him, I tried to kill him like honestly tried to kill him. I ruined his coronation and got him banished to midgard. I don’t understand how he could still love me.” Bucky placed a hand on his shoulder "I've learned that when someone loves you nothin’ changes that. Stevie tore the world apart lookin for me. I was a weapon, a machine doing Hydras bidding for years and yet Steve still wants me around. Clearly Thor sees something in you worth saving." 

T'Challa came to them with a pensive look on his face. Something is going on. "There is an electricity in the air, I can feel it." Sure enough Wanda came rushing in. I just overheard they are going after the stones, they are going to fix this." People rushed over. "How? What will they do?" She shook her head "I'm not sure. The princess she was talking to Stark, he built some kind of machine. He says they will have this fixed by tomorrow." People began to gather and wait hoping, daring to believe they could return to their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading kudos and comments appreciated. first few chapters will be short but it will build up....hopefully  
> stay safe and stay healthy


	4. Chapter 4

The next afternoon something did change. In a blink of an eye the room spun and when Loki opened his eyes he was back in the hospital room on the floor. He quickly ran to find the princess but found Sergeant Barnes and Sam first. They pushed through the crowd of happy reunions. It was then that a circle of orange light opened up and the wizard stepped out. "Thanos is coming. Those who wish to fight for earth's survival follow me." Loki shivered and grabbed Strange's sleeve. "Thor, is Thor there. Have you seen him?" He shook his head “I have only just returned. I would assume he will be there but I have no knowledge of that.” Loki followed the others through desperately scanning the battlefield for Thor. He caught a quick glimpse of Valkyrie but she was soon lost. He froze when a voice called his name. He turned to see Ebony Maw standing behind him. 

“So we meet again. You belong to the Titan. He will be pleased to have his child back, even one so bad as you.” Loki Snarled at them. “I Will NEVER be owned by Thanos.” Maw laughed at his attempts of bravery. “The years have changed you. Well lucky for you it will all be over soon enough.” Loki was blinded by anger and frustration as he lashed out at Maw. He didn’t even notice the blast from the rogue chitauri until everything went black. 

When his eyes fluttered open he was looking up at the hulk but he was….different somehow. “Bruce??” He smiled “Yea...me and hulk we um.. worked out our differences. You’re gonna be ok. Just stay still for me ok? Steves looking for Thor.” He blinked a little bit as he took in the sounds around him. The sounds of battle now gone silent. He then heard someone running towards them “Loki? Loki? Is it really you Loki?” Before anyone could stop him Thor took him from the ground pulling him into a bone crushing hug. Bruce tapped him. “Thor he’s hurt you gotta be gentle.” He cradled him close. Steve smiled at the pair. “Glad you got him back Thor.” Loki now noticed mjolnir clipped to his belt. “Thor….Mjolnir?” He laughed “Yes she has a new home now and I couldn't be happier.” He looked over his brother, suddenly too tired to do much. “You look so much like him” was the last thing he managed before he faded out.”

When he woke again he was back in the hospital room which was much more busy and crowded. He noticed Stark in the far corner sitting up and talking, his left arm now gone below the elbow. He looked over at him and waved. The captain was now sitting in a chair nearby as Sam and James fussed over him. He held an ice pack against his side as a nurse stitched his cheek up. Thor was nowhere to be seen. He was beginning to panic worried that Thor may have left him to go with the guardians groot told him of. 

Thor wandered in and found him. He sat at the chair next to him and took his hand. “I can’t believe you are here brother. I thanked the Captain for retrieving you from Thano’s minions. He will never lay a hand on you again.” Loki felt tears stinging his eyes. Thor was quick to wipe them away. “Shh it’s ok don’t cry.” That only seemed to make him cry harder until he was sobbing loudly. “I thought I had lost you” he wailed and practically threw himself at Thor.

Thor moved to the side of the bed and hugged him. “I thought I had lost you too.” Loki leaned into him and chuckled “I never thought I would ever see you so….”  
“Fat?” he winced. “It’s alright I um..the last few years were rough. It’s going to get better now though.” he was beginning to drift off when The Captain came over to them.

"Thor, Loki, you guys doing ok?" They nodded. Loki closed his eyes and listened to mjolnir. "Her song is so different now...so new and strange." Thor smiled "I forget you can hear its song sometimes brother." Steve looked at them and then the hammer "the hammer has a song?" 

Loki nodded "magical items sing. It is their mark of ownership. While you are not trained to hear her song she sings quite loud and passionately for you. She also sings of a lover." Thor cocked his head "does she now? And what has she to say about that?" 

Loki closed his eyes and listened, humming a melody before he could hear words "I hear you say forever more And then the song became a sigh, Forever more became goodbye, Cause you remained in my heart." Bucky walked over and paused "serenade in blue" he smiled. "Lovely song." Thor let out a booming laugh that drew several eyes on them. 

"What's so funny?" Bucky asked. Steve was now deep red as he put things together. "Buck….how could I have been so blind." He stopped "what's all this now?" Thor stood placing a hand on each of their shoulders. "Mjolnir was calling out for her master's lover. Her song meant to draw them in. I think you two have some things to discuss perhaps more privately?" Steve gave a curt nod and took Bucky's hand. "He's right we um… should go."

Loki smirked as they rushed out of the room. Most were leaving for the evening so that those who needed it could get rest. He looked at Thor who for once looked tired right down to his soul. “You should get rest as well…..just don’t leave me ok?” he smiled “Of course. I would never leave you. Never ever again.” His heart flooded with warmth to hear Thor promise to be there. He was certain he had lost that so long ago. Once the visitors had left the lights were turned low to encourage the patients (“Mr. Stark that means you too”) to sleep. Loki drifted off to sleep but was soon awoken by nightmares. Screaming and holding himself as he thrashed in his bed. He felt a hand on him rubbing his back and running fingers through his hair. “Shhh shhhh it’s ok it’s ok. You’re safe. You’re ok.” He calmed at the gentle voice. As it tenderly soothed him. It was then that he realized he was unfamiliar with this voice. 

His eyes snapped open to see a woman with red hair standing next to his bed. He squinted and looked at her assessing if she meant him harm. “You should be sleeping.”  
“So should you. Why are you here?” She nodded towards the bed across the room “I wanted to be with my husband. He doesn't like hospitals.” He glanced over to see Stark asleep in his bed unaware that his companion had left his side. “So you are Ms. Virginia. Thor has mentioned you a time or two.” She blushed “Please call me Pepper. Now go back to sleep ok honey?” He frowned “I am not some petulant child.” She responded by pulling the blanket up to his chin. “I think you might want to re-evaluate that statement.” Loki looked at himself and took in the smaller form. “I...did you do something to me?” She patted his head “I think...you have had a lot of trauma and you are responding in the safest way you know how. Just get some sleep. I'm sure it will work out.” 

She turned and went back to the bed with her husband. He took a shaky breath. He was a child...or at least the size of a child... why...he didn’t do this...he would never do this. He was an adult, he was several thousand years old and was to be treated as such and yet the blanket covering him was warm and soft as the smell of Peppers perfume lingered in the air. His eyes grew heavy with sleep as he drifted off trying to hold onto his frustration at this indignation he was to deal with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading Kudos and comments greatly appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

When he woke up Bruce was in the room now as was Thor and Sam. “Pepper’s right, his mind is still processing so much. He has been through literal hell and every time he finds a ledge it crumbles from underneath him. He needs counseling.” Thor let out a tired sigh. “If you are sure then I trust your judgment.” He looked over noticing Loki awake and glaring at them. “Do not speak of me as if I am not here or worse stupid.” Sam hid a smirk behind his hand. The voice that came from Loki was that of a child. While his words were the same eloquent vocabulary he was far from an adult. Sam moved closer “We know you are no stupid however we do need to figure out whats causing this. You went from 6 foot something to a 3 ft rugrat in less than 24 hrs.”

“I am NOT a rugrat” Loki pouted crossing his arms. Thor chuckled “Well you certainly are tiny. Let’s take you to get some breakfast.” he scooped Loki up from the bed. “Put me down! I am not to be toted about like a pet!” He sat Loki down on the floor noting how the pajamas he wore were now dragging the ground. “Well let's at least fix this shall we? Don;t want you to trip.” he carefully rolled up the sleeves and the pants legs making it easier for Loki to walk. He took hold of his hand “There how is that?” Loki scowled but said nothing as they walked to get breakfast. He was speaking with Bruce about returning the stones. 

When they appeared in the large hall Pepper smiled and waved them over to the Table where the others sat. They headed over and all eyes immediately fell to Loki. “So um… reindeer games is a squirt now?” Pepper elbowed Tony hard in the ribs. “Good morning guys why don’t you sit and have something to eat.” Loki moved to get on the bench and squeaked when Pepper plucked him up and of all things sat him on a booster seat. While he would never admit it upon a second glance it was clear he would be unable to reach the table otherwise. He still scowled at her to keep up appearances. Thor smiled as he looked around the table seeing his friends together again. “I have missed this.” He looked over at Steve who was smiling as Bucky whispered something into his ear “I See the discussion went well.” 

Steve Blushed while Bucky wrapped an arm around him. “We came to an understanding of sorts.” Bucky’s grin said it all and Tony stared “You mean...you two...did you...with..damn.” Natasha just rolled her eyes. “All those years trying to get you a date and I was looking in all the wrong places.” Pepper cleared her throat to alert them to Morgan and Peter's arrival to the table. “Morning everyone. What did we miss?” He helped Morgan up on the seat placing a booster under her as they had Loki. She quickly looked over at him. “Who are you? I’m Morgan.” Thor grinned “This is my little brother Loki.” He shot Thor a glare but was caught off guard when Morgan responded by wrapping her arms around him. “Awww look at that she likes you.” He made every attempt to present the threat of disembowelment to those snickering at him at the table but it only resulted in more giggling and cooing over him.

He couldn’t help happily swinging his feet as Thor happily filled his plate with fruits. Once She was done eating, Morgan looked at Loki “Want to play with Peter and I?” Without thinking he turned to Thor “May I brother?” He looked surprised for a moment but saw Pepper nodding her head along with Sam. “Of course just be careful. Take Care of him Peter.” Loki quickly followed Morgan’s lead and wiggled off the booster seat and raced out the door with Peter. 

“Thor perhaps you two should come back with us until Loki is settled? He seems like he’s in a rather delicate place right now and I think Morgan is good for him.” Sam nodded “I’m with Pepper here. If he can open up and feel safe with Morgan he can get through this faster.” He nodded “I will let Valkyrie know not to wait for us. If you all will excuse me.” 

Tony looked at Pepper as he watched Thor leave. “Did you just have us adopt Loki?” Pepper smiled “No, I did not have you adopt Loki, I simply saw a chance to help him and I made an executive decision. Clint, once you are settled you should Bring Laura and the kids. I think Nate might be the right age to play with the two of them.” He straightened up “I um.. Do you really think that's a great Idea? I mean I don’t want to overwhelm him or anything and…” She gave him a look “Clint, he needs that. I will keep you updated on the situation and let you know if we need you but please keep an open mind. This is a chance to fix a lot of damage.” He nodded knowing he couldn’t say No to Pepper not really. “I’m heading home. I’ll keep in touch. You guys don’t be strangers ok?” They all said their goodbyes and Natasha quickly followed after him. Steve and Bucky stood “I guess we should leave you guys to settle things so that you can go. Take care of yourself Tony.” 

Pepper looked at them “You sure you don;t want to go home? Bucky has been cleared and so have you provided you more or less retire. There's a lot to rediscover in new york for both of you.” He shook his head “We don’t want to overstay-”  
“We’d love to” He looked at Bucky “Buck are you sure?” He nodded “Wherever you are is home but I miss new york I miss HOME.” Tony rolled his eyes “So cute I’m gonna throw up. Ok Popsicle pals are gonna come with us. Bruce? You coming?” He nodded. “I think I could help Loki a lot. He trusts me a great deal more than I ever expected especially after the big guy...well ya know.” Pepper smiled. “Well it will be nice to have you around. Let's get things settled and meet here in two hours to have Strange get us back home ok?” They all nodded and left to settle their affairs and say their goodbyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading


	6. Chapter 6

Loki and Morgan sat in the swing as Peter pushed it. He remembered a swing in the garden on Asgard. He loved to sit in it and read. He sat in the swing many times with his mother. She would read to him and pet his head as she sang to him. Odin cut the swing down when he was 13 because he was too old for such things. He hadn’t realized the swing had stopped and Peter and Morgan were looking at him. “What’s wrong? You’re crying.” 

He wiped the tears from his cheek. “I miss my home. I miss my mother.” Morgan bowed her head a little and hugged him. “I’m sorry.” She seemed to understand there was no returning to them. She didn’t even ask. Peter smiled and plucked them both from the swing and sat under the tree with them on either side. I miss my Mom a lot too and my Dad but, I’m thankful for my aunt May. She takes good care of me and so does Mr and Mrs. Stark. I’m thankful for them and they make it hurt a little less.” Loki Curled in on himself. “I didn’t get to say goodbye.” 

Peter patted his head “I didn’t get to say goodbye either. My parents died in an accident. The funeral was all a blur.” Loki shivered a bit “I wasn’t allowed to go to the funeral.” Peter froze “Why?” He began to shake and sob. “I’m a bad person and It’s all my fault they killed her. I told them where to go to get out of the prison and they walked right to her. They killed her because I told them where to go and then I couldn't even say goodbye. I couldn’t even say I’m sorry.” Peter hugged him close and rocked him as he sobbed. “Shhh it’s gonna be ok. I’m sure your mom knew you didn’t mean it. Sometimes we do things and the wrong people get hurt. You couldn’t have known all that would happen.” Morgan laid her head against Peter as the quietly comforted Loki. His breath was still coming in small hiccups as Peter wiped his face. “How about we go find Thor?” Loki softly nodded but clung to Peter. Peter just stood up still holding him close as Morgan followed alongside holding Loki’s hand.

He found Thor seeing Valkyries off to New Asgard. She gave him a hug as she prepared to step through the portal Strange had opened. Thor looked through longingly. This was his new home but it was no place for Loki right now. He would return but not for some time. He gave one last smile as she disappeared and turned to Peter. His attention was immediately drawn to Loki. “Is he alright? He looks...smaller.” 

Peter hadn’t realized the change in size. “Oh wow. um..I think he’s de-aging based on how he’s feeling.” Thor gave a thoughtful look. “What was he talking about? Anything particular?” Peter took a deep breath “He was...talking about the swing and how much he liked it and how much he missed home and and...and his mom. It got kinda rough from there. I figured it would be best to bring him to you. Perhaps Dr. Strange can take a look? This seems like something he and Mr. Wilson could tackle together since it's a magical mental health issue.” Thor stroked his beard “A wise suggestion. It would indeed be a good idea to seek the council of sorcerer supreme.” 

Strange Looked over Loki. “When did this happen?”   
“Sometime last night after we left him to rest. Pepper found him like that.” He continued examining him. “I see what was he doing when Pepper found him?”   
“He was having a nightmare from what I understand.”   
“Hmmmm. I think he is subconsciously projecting his mental age based on his mood. Am I to assume that emotions of fear and sadness were often chided as emotions only Children felt?” Thor gave a solemn nod and cleared his throat. “Father was very clear that a child hides a man, a warrior does not. He fights through.” Sam rolled his eyes. “A+ parenting” he muttered. “Well I agree that the emotional Trauma of the last few years is finally catching up to Loki. I’m inclined to believe that over the next few weeks or even months his age may fluctuate as he deals with things. Until he feels stable he will not return to his true age. Be careful as he can project this state onto others if they are not careful. Peter is doing a fantastic job helping as he is emotionally well adjusted but someone else who comes in close contact may not be so lucky.” Thor nodded “Of course thank you for your input Strange.” They found The others and gathered to finally head home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Loki is going to cause some unintended chaos.
> 
> thanks for reading Kudos and comments are always appreciated stay safe and stay healthy


	7. Chapter 7

″‘I never dreamed of such happiness as this, while I was an ugly duckling.‘”  
Hans Christian Andersen- the ugly duckling

Morgan raced across the yard to the porch of the cabin. Loki clung to Thor's side as they took in the sight. Bucky smiled "really got it together didn't you Stark? All ya need now is a dog." He shook his head. "No dog. I have enough on my plate on top of the missing arm." 

"Dogs are scary." It was almost inaudible. Bruce smiled and knelt down to Loki as he hid behind Thor. "Dogs are not as mean as they look but it's ok. No dogs here." Loki carefully took Bruce's hand. "Can we go inside?" He looked up at Pepper and Tony "I'm sure we can."  
"Of course let's give you guys the grand tour."

Once everyone was settled with a room for the night and Happy had taken Peter, Steve, and Bucky back to the city, Loki was playing with Morgan in her room. Pepper and Thor both smiled as they giggled in the other room. "He seems really happy." Thor hummed in agreement. "My brother has not laughed that freely in quite some time." 

Dinner proved to be an interesting ordeal. thiPepper placed a plate in front of Loki and Morgan. Morgan happily began to eat no questions asked. Loki stared at the plate. "What IS this?" He wrinkled his nose and pushed the plate away. Thor gave him a stern look. "Loki, Pepper made you a wonderful meal you would do well to at least try it." 

He looked at Thor and crossed his arms. "No."  
"LOKI" he rumbled. The raised voice clearly caught him by surprise as he flinched away from Thor trembling. Thor's expression softened. "Loki, forgive me. I should not have raised my voice. Please try the food. Morgan has already eaten her's. She is a smart girl. Trust her." 

Loki looked at her skeptically. "Ok." He carefully took his fork and scooped up a little bit of the macaroni. After a moment his plate was clean. He held it up "may I...have…...more?" Tony took the plate. "Of course. Let me get that kiddo." Loki happily ate two more plates of food. "Hungry little sucker huh." 

They cleaned things up and Pepper took Morgan by the hand. Let's get ready for bed pumpkin." She looked at Thor. "Do you need some clothes that fit him? We should have some stuff." He nodded. "It would be much appreciated." She smiled "well how about I get them into a bath and we will get him some pj's." 

Bruce cleared his throat and motioned to the kitchen. Pepper nodded "Morgan honey how about you and Loki go pick out some pj's for him to borrow. I will be up in a moment." She took Loki' s hand and led him up to her room in the loft. Pepper met Bruce in the Kitchen.

"What's the issue?" He shuffled nervously on his feet. "You can't bathe Loki with Morgan. Not yet. He's um… he's intersex and very sensitive about it. On Sakarr… the grandmaster he took advantage of Loki." She took in the new information. "I see. Well we will be careful with how we proceed here." He smiled "I can help if you need me to."

Loki looked in Morgan's closet at the large selection of clothes. "You have so many clothes." His hands landed on a pair of pink fuzzy unicorn pajamas. "They are soft." Morgan giggled. "You want to wear them?" He nodded "if i may." She took them off the hanger. "Yes even if they are for girls." He looked at her confused. "I am a girl ...at least I think I am." Morgan cocked her head. "But you are a boy."  
"Yes I am that too." She was still confused. "It's just….you have parts that make you a girl….I have both parts." She nodded now understanding. "Oh, ok that's cool."

Pepper and Bruce came in to assist with bath time. Morgan held up the unicorn pj's. "Mommy Loki is gonna wear these ones because he is a girl." She smiled "Is that so?" Morgan nodded "yea he's a boy too but he wants to wear the unicorns." She looked over at Loki and he suddenly cowered behind Bruce. "I didn't mean it" he frantically whimpered. "Please….don't touch me." 

"Oh no sweetheart. No one here is going to touch you if you don't want it but you need a bath." He held onto Bruce's leg. "No I don't." Bruce patted him. "How about I help you with your bath while Pepper takes care of Morgan. Does that sound ok?" He looked over at Pepper and back at Bruce. "Ok" he said in almost a whisper. 

They split up between the bathrooms so that Loki had the privacy he desperately needed and Morgan was free to ask her mom questions. "How do you want the bath? Warm or cool?"  
"Hot. It makes the cold go away." Bruce frowned. "I don't want it to be too hot for you." Loki was insistent. "When I would feel too cold and my skin would change, mother always put me in a Hot bath and It made me right again."

"Loki, you are fine even if you are cold or blue or whatever. Here put your hand in the tub and see if that feels ok." Loki cautiously placed his hand in the water. " yes. It will do." He carefully helped Loki in the bath. "Do you need help or can you handle it?"  
"I know how to take a bath Bruce." He nodded "I know. Just pull the curtain back when you are ready to get out."

Pepper was washing Morgan's hair when she finally spoke. "Why does Loki have girl and boy parts?" She paused looking for the right words. "Well sometimes a person is born with both parts because their body couldn't decide. They can keep both or pick one but no matter what they are no different than anyone else." She nodded her head along. "Does that mean Loki can have a baby when he is grown up again?" 

"You knew he was already grown up?" She shook her head "I heard Daddy and Thor talking. Why did he stop being grown up?" She rinsed her hair and took her out of the tub. "Loki has been through a lot. Sometimes when we go through a lot of upsetting things at once our brain tries to deal the best it can. Because Loki has magic his way of dealing is different because it's something we can see hands on. Many people revert to being a child because it feels safer."

"Because people don't hurt children." Pepper frowned "that's not always true but when you are a child things are simpler. You don't have to worry so much." Morgan wrapped the towel around herself tightly. "I want him to feel better." Pepper pulled her into a hug. "Me too pumpkin. Maybe we will be able to help him."

Thor took Loki and tucked him into bed. "Don't I get a story?" Thor froze. "I suppose yes. What kind of story would you like? I'm sure Morgan has a book I can borrow." He shrugged. "I don't know." Thor was about to get up when Tony knocked on the doorway. "Peps gonna read a bedtime story. We figured it might be nice to invite you guys down the hall for that." Without a word Loki climbed from the bed and took Tony's hand. "Ok." 

Loki settled in the bed between Thor and Morgan. "What are we reading tonight?" Pepper smiled. "we are reading the ugly duckling. Have either of you heard that one?" She looked over at Loki and Thor. "No ma'am." She began to read the story. 

Loki hung onto every word as she gently told the tale of the odd unwanted duckling. He began to cry as the story was clearly meant for him. Thor held him close as Pepper finished the story. Morgan was now cuddled against Loki. Tony shifted uncomfortable on the bed. He knew Pepper and Bruce carefully picked tonight's story with some input from Sam but he had not expected it to have such an effect on Loki. Once he was settled Thor took him back to their room and tucked him into bed. 

Thor was woken by someone climbing in the bed with him. He smiled down as Loki curled against him. He closed his eyes and listened as a thunderstorm began to brew outside. "Can't you make it stop?" He looked back down at Loki. "No. You can't stop things from happening because you don't want them to." Loki held him tight. "You can do anything. You always get what you want. The world stops for people like you." 

"What do you mean by that?" He asked softly. "You are good and people like you. You have always been where you belong. I am like that duckling but I don't have my swans. My swans are all dead." 

"Loki, I wasn't always where I belong. When I first came to midgard i was lost and confused and after we lost Asgard I was no better especially after I thought I had lost you. I admit you were not treated as well as I by our friends on Asgard-"

"Your friends on Asgard. They only tolerated me to keep you." He frowned. "Mother loved you dearly. She taught you her magic, she gifted you with books and knowledge that would be wasted on me. You don't need everyone to love you. I have always loved you. Even when I was angry at you I loved you because you are my brother and no one can tell me otherwise." He could feel the wet spot on his shirt. "It will be alright brother. Whatever you need I will do all I can to provide." Loki quieted and fell back asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

A few weeks had gone by and Loki was showing signs that he had been steadily working through so much. Sam checked in periodically to answer what he could. "Sounds to me like he might be slowly aging up. Has he apologized for things he had done?" Tony nodded "yes he has apologized to me for breaking my tower, breaking new york, nearly causing my death and he apologized to Pepper for nearly killing me both by throwing me out a window and the whole nuke thing." 

"Well apologies are hard. He knows he can't make it go away but a sincere apology is a start. Has Barton agreed to come down?" Tony nodded "yup. They should be showing up tonight Nat too. We are gonna let the kids go camping in the tree house I finally finished."

"Sounds good um...what are the chances he will attempt to apologize to them?" Thor froze. "Oh no." Sam looked between them. "What?"  
"Oh god… he's still working on New York apologies….Sam...he brainwashed Clint, he was horrible to Nat and....and…"  
"He killed Coulson," they said together. "Oh… shit. You um… you can't stop this. Best thing is to try and give him time to talk to them privately. No kids around." 

Thor nodded "I agree. This is Loki's fulfillment journey. We have all had ours but, his is much different just as he is."  
"Like a quest?" Thor smiled "yes. Some are very long and complicated like that of Tony or even sergeant Barnes, some may be brief but meaningful like you and some are still working at it like Loki." 

Tony was surprised "I've finished my quest? Who's still working on theirs?" Thor smiled "yes yours ended when you sacrificed yourself in the battle with Thanos. You had something to fight for and it gave you a reason to live but more importantly a reason to die."   
"Gotcha, self sacrifice,Steve was probably done before he was born."   
"No far from it he has barely begun. His sacrifices have always been laced with the idea that if he did die it would not bother anyone. Granted he has a reason to live and die now but he still has a lot of ground to cover."  
"Well on that note call me if you need any guidance I'll send Bruce some notes. Later."

When Clint and his family arrived everyone was waiting to greet them except Loki. “Morgan sweetie have you seen Loki around?” She looked up at Tony “He’s in the tree house reading.”  
“I will get him Tony.” Thor went out to the tree house and carefully climbed up the ladder. He found Loki sitting by the window where he could clearly see the arriving company reading a book.

“Loki, it is time to put the book down. We have company to greet.” He looked up “I would much rather stay here and continue to read of Christopher Robin and his friends.” Thor sighed. “You can return to your book after you say hello to Clint and His family.” Loki ignored Thor and continued to read. He reached forward snatching the book and plucking Loki out of the chair. “At least in this form I have better success in restraining you.” He practically dragged Loki out of the tree house. He placed him down next to Morgan. “There. Now say hello.” He crossed his arms and took a step back towards Bruce.

“I guess he’s not in a social mood.” Laura smiled “Thor do you remember Cooper and Lila? I know it's been a while, this is Nate, I know you haven’t met him yet.” He smiled at the Barton children. He observed that both Cooper and Lila were heading for their awkward teen years and Nate was a few years older than both Morgan and Loki at the moment but he was still in the right age range. “Hello, this is my brother Loki.” He gently nudged him forward. “hi.” Pepper looked over the group “Morgan how about you show them your treehouse daddy built.” She smiled and they all raced over towards it. Loki barely made eye contact with Clint and Natasha as he passed them.

“He doing ok?” Thor and Bruce both shrugged “It’s hard to say. He’s aged up a bit. I’m guessing he’s at about 8-10 but it’s been a struggle. He knows he’s an adult but there are times where he is a complete child. Sam and I believe he is hiding behind it to try and work through emotional trauma and guilt. He’s been apologizing for things he did wrong.” Clint and Natasha exchanged looks. “I see, sooo that's why he’s terrified of us.” Thor nodded “Yes. We do believe he will try to apologize to both of you for what happened in new york and before that.” Clint went rigid. “Greaaaaat. Just peachy.” Laura squeezed his hand. “Honey we talked about this. You need to give him a chance.”

Loki quickly resumed his position by the window with his book. Cooper, Lila, and Nate were following Morgan as she showed them the things her tree house had. She pulled out a board game and they began to play. “Loki, the blue piece isn’t taken if you want to play. I know it’s your favorite.” He looked over at Morgan “No thank you Morgan. I would much rather read right now.” Cooper responded by rolling his eyes and muttering under his breath. Loki’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t say anything. He was used to that sort of reaction. He didn’t play like other children. He much preferred books. 

They had dinner outside where Loki ate alone while the others played on a blanket nearby. Despite being older Cooper and Lila were both fine playing with Morgan. Laura noticed how they got quiet when Loki approached so he simply took his plate and sat alone by a tree. Thor frowned “Even now he still can’t seem to cope with others. He was like that when we were both children. I don’t believe he would have had any true friends had I not been around.” Laura got up and went over to the kids and spoke to them and then a moment later she went over to Loki and sat down.

“Hey, how come you are all alone?” he poked at his food “Your family doesn’t want me and I can’t say I blame them.”   
“Now don’t be that way. Cooper and Lila will adjust. They just need to get to know you.” He looked at Laura “I think they know all they care to know about me. I’m the monster who nearly destroyed their father. I’m the monster that killed hundreds. I am a monster and no one wants to love or befriend a monster.” She had seen Clint like this in the months following Loki’s attack. “ Thor told us it was not your choice. You are just as much a victim as my husband or anyone else.”  
“I am not innocent.”  
“Would you on a normal day have killed Phil? Would you have taken hold of Clint’s mind?” He shook his head “I’m not so sure I have normal days anymore.” She pulled him close to her. “Sweetie you are trying. Let them help you.” She stood and took his hand. “Let’s try reintroducing ourselves shall we?”

She walked him over to the blanket and they sat down. “Guys, is there room for Loki and I to sit with you?” Morgan scooted over “Plenty” She said with a smile that was full of her father's charm. “Good. How about you guys tell Loki what you like to do for fun? Maybe you guys can find a game to play once he is finished with his dinner.” She got up leaving them to talk things over. Once she was gone Coopers face darkened. “We like to play Knights, would you like to play? We always need a monster to hunt.” Morgan's eyes widened “Well I want to be the witch that protects the monster.” She stood straight squared up to Cooper despite him being three times her size. Cooper was not backing down from her either. “If you throw in your lot with a monster I won’t hesitate to stop you because that’s what heroes do.” 

“Oh great, some hero threatening to pound a 5 year old.” Cooper turned to Loki who flinched in response. “Like you are going to do anything about it.” Morgan grabbed the cupcake from her plate and nailed Cooper in the head with it. Lila and Nate began to laugh. Cooper wheeled around and shoved Morgan to the ground. Tony was about to step in but Bruce stopped him “Hold on, let’s see where this goes.” Morgan picked herself up and brushed the dirt off her backside. She took a step forward and was toe to toe with Cooper. She put all her weight into elbowing him sending him toppling over. Tony groaned “She’s picking a fight with a guy three times her size.” He looked over a Pepper “If i didn’t know any better I would swear you cheated on me with Rogers.” Clint let out a laugh “Well looks like you are gonna have your hands full with her. If they keep it up I’ll handle Cooper.”   
For now it seemed that the kids had an understanding of sorts as they all settled back on the blanket. Natasha was watching them carefully. Cooper was not usually an aggressive kid. She knew they were all well aware of the lasting effects Clint’s time with Loki had. If she had to field a guess this night was going to end poorly. When things started to wind down they set the kids sleeping bags up in the tree house and Pepper and Laura read them a story before encouraging them to go to sleep. They both knew the kids would be up for a while but they did their part and joined the adults. Once they were unsupervised Cooper moved Loki’s sleeping bag out onto the balcony of the tree house. “No monsters allowed.” Morgan glared at him “Cooper this is MY tree house and I want Loki here.” He crossed his arms “You wouldn’t want him here if you knew the things he did. He’s a monster, a horrible person. He killed people. He tried to take my dad away. Nothing about him is good no matter how he tries to hide himself.” Loki stood in the doorway with his sleeping bag torn between his clear discomfort with Cooper and Morgan’s insistence that he was welcome. 

“You take another step and you will regret it.” Loki looked at Morgan and Lila “Don’t let Cooper bully you, he’s all talk.” Loki took a step and was surprised when Cooper tackled him sending him tumbling right off the balcony. He hit the ground and didn’t move. Lila looked over at Cooper. “Oh my god….did you kill him?” Morgan and Nate were already headed down the ladder. Lila jumped down ahead of them to prevent them seeing anything gruesome. She had them wait until she could get a look. She carefully checked his head taking note of the gash on the side. “Are you quite happy with yourself Coop?” He scrambled down the ladder. “He..I...I just wanted to scare him. I never meant...please tell me he is gonna be ok.” She shook her head “Go get the adults.” 

Bruce knelt beside Loki while Clint took Cooper aside. “What happened?” He looked between them and Loki’s still unmoving body. “I..I.. I tackled him. I just wanted to scare him but he tripped on his sleeping bag and he fell right off.” Tony kicked at the dirt. “Damn I should have added the lower rung of rails.” Thor let out a deep sigh. “I should have been more careful. Something about Loki tends to attract the wrong sort of behavior in even the best person. We have always thought it was something with his magic.” Tony stopped “Shit, Strange did say he was very capable of projecting his fears on someone who was not emotionally mature and stable. If Loki is downright terrified he could be projection that on Cooper. Kind of a fight or flight reaction and different people do different things when scared. Clearly Cooper gets aggressive.” 

Thor stroked his beard for a moment as he thought over Tony’s theory. “That does seem reasonable.” Bruce walked over to them. “He doesn’t look great. I have to take him back to the tower. Steve is on the way with the quinjet he will be here in about two hours. Until then we should get him in the house. Tony do you have anything we could use as a makeshift backboard?” He nodded “yea i’m sure there's something in the garage lets go check.” Thor was about to follow them when he heard a soft whimper from Loki. He quickly sat down by his side. “It’s ok Loki. You will be ok. Cooper didn’t mean it.”   
“Yes he did and I deserve it.” He was growing tired of this argument but he knew Loki was still answering for a lot. Natasha moved his hair out of his eyes. “No one deserves to be tossed from a tree house. You and I had this discussion years ago. You can always make things better. It will never erase what you have done but the good can outweigh the bad in time.” 

“But..I..K..K..killed..him..” She gently took his hand. “Phil was a good man and he was destined to die in the line of duty if not by you it would have been someone else. Our jobs are always a risk. I know you didn’t have any choice in the matter. We have seen just how viscous Thanos is. He breaks people until he can use them as weapons. You saw Gamora and her sister and you saw his followers. They were all brainwashed. It took me a long time to process it but sometimes people get caught up and they are the collateral damage. You were part of Thanos’s collateral damage.” He was still sniffling his breath coming in steady hiccups. “Would you feel better if you talked to Clint too? I promise I’m not mad at you anymore and neither is he.” She got up and brought Clint and Laura over.

“Hey, sorry about what my Kid did. He’s not normally like that.” Loki closed his eyes a little “I tend to bring out the worst in others.” He patted his hand “Not your fault. Cooper should have known better. Nat says you wanted to talk with me?”   
“I...I’m sorry. For everything. I understand the hate you and your family hold for me.” Laura was quick to speak up “I don’t hate you. I don’t even know you. Even if I did when Thor explained you were a pawn I can’t hold that against you just like I can’t hold that against James Barnes or even Wanda. She tried to kill My husband and Natasha but she was only doing it for someone else. She made the right decision in the end just as you did. You are in good company for the redemption department. You wanna ask Clint how he handled the snap?” 

His eyes moved over to Clint. “I may or may not have gone on a vigilante killing spree. I mean I killed criminals but I still killed people.” Loki’s form relaxed a little. “Well if you ever felt the need to add one more to the count feel free.” It was then that Thor noticed Loki was now a little bigger. Bruce shifted a little. “Great we get angsty teen Loki right when he’s gonna be bed bound for a bit.” Thor looked at him “Are you sure?”  
“His femur is broken and his hip is dislocated. I can't quite relocate it until the bone in his leg is stable. He’s also got some cracked ribs and I’m certain his collarbone is broken.” They were pulled away as Steve arrived with the jet. He and Bucky hopped out with the actual backboard and collar. “Here ya go Bruce. Tell us what you need and we will get him loaded up for home. Helen is waiting at the tower.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading. Loki's got a long road to go but I think his change of scenery will be better for him.


	9. Chapter 9

I may not always love you  
But long as there are stars above you  
You never need to doubt it  
I'll make you so sure about it  
-Brian wilson song: god only knows

After a few hours Helen came out to get Thor. “He’s going to be ok. He’s already started healing a bit so hopefully in a week or so we can get him up and moving. I’m impressed he wasn't more seriously injured from that fall but from the sounds of it he was more accepting of it than most people would be. His body relaxed enough to prevent it from being worse. Just make sure he eats and rests. I would like him to pick up a little more weight if possible.” He nodded “I will try but Loki has always been a bit on the thin side.”

The next day he and Bruce moved him into Thor’s room and made him comfortable. They made sure he had books and showed him how to use Friday to call them. “Just leave me alone.” Bruce grabbed the back of his neck. “We will in a moment. we want to make sure you are settled. Now Thor and I have to leave to take care of something and we will be back tomorrow. Steve and Bucky are here if you should need anything.” Loki rolled his eyes “Of course. I’m stuck with those two.”   
“Loki, you will behave for Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes. I have also asked Peter to come by and check on you.” 

Steve came in around lunchtime “I brought you something to eat. Pepper mentioned you liked macaroni and cheese.” Loki looked up from his book. “Why are you treating me like a child Steven?” He placed the tray of food down. “Well first off I’m not. I’m being nice. I asked Pepper what you liked to eat and this is what she told me so take it or leave it and second you technically are a kid at least you look like one.” Loki wrinkled their nose. “This doesn’t look like macaroni and cheese.” Steve frowned “It’s not from a box it’s homemade. Bucky worked really hard on it. just try it. For him? please?” Loki groaned and took a small spoonful of it. After a few minutes the bowl was empty when Loki handed it back to him. “More please?” Steve smiled “Coming right up.”

He returned with a much larger bowl which Loki happily ate. “Do you need anything else?” Loki moved the bowl aside “I would like some tea please.”  
“Sure hot or iced?” Loki was looking at him “Iced??” Steve blinked “Yea...iced….is that a problem?”   
“You mean it's tea but it’s cold?” He nodded “yea it’s great in the summer time or if you just want cold tea.”   
“I would like to try that.” He left again and returned with a glass of iced tea. “Here ya go.” Loki inspected the glass a moment and then took a sip. Steve watched as he relaxed a bit. He did not expect to see Loki turn blue. “Are you ok?” 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Steve was still staring at him “You’re blue...is that a normal thing?” Loki looked at his arms “Well it um...yes..i suppose it is...It must be the drink. I can’t control it when I come into contact with cold.” Steve was still staring at him skeptically. “Well...ok then.. If that’s nothing to worry about...I’m gonna go...um call Friday if you need anything.” Loki noted Steve's body language as he left. He didn’t seem afraid however he also seemed quite uncomfortable. He shivered a bit as he was reminded of how people generally felt when faced with monsters. He curled up under the covers as he quietly sobbed into his pillow. No matter what he would always be a monster that no one wanted to look at.

Steve came back into the kitchen with the empty bowl. “Hey perfect timing Thor’s on the line to check in.” Steve grabbed the phone “Hey Thor, yea just got him to eat two bowls of macaroni. He tried iced tea too...he ...turned blue….when he drank it. Is that normal?” Thor was quiet on the line. “He does that...Loki is actually a frost giant. He tends to turn blue when he comes into contact with cold.”  
“Oh well the drink did have ice in it.”   
“How did you handle that?”  
“Ok i think? I didn’t freak out. I just asked if it was normal and if he was ok and then I left once he said he was.”  
“Keep an eye on him. He is quite sensitive about his Joten form. Years of being told how horrible frost giants are have left their mark. He has only willingly shown that form to Bruce.”   
“Oh...ok yea we will keep an eye on him.”  
“Thank you. We should be back tomorrow afternoon. Peter has agreed to come around dinner time to check on Loki so that you and the Sergeant are not inconvenienced.”   
“It’s ok there’s no inconvenience. We can all have dinner together if that helps.”  
“By all means. It would be good for him.” He got off the phone with Thor “So i guess we gotta make some extra dinner for everyone. It’s gonna be you me Peter and Loki.” Bucky nodded “how about we just order some pizza then. You and Peter eat more than I can cook and I get the feeling Loki does when he actually eats.” Steve wrapped him in a hug “Sounds like a plan” he said as he rested his forehead against Bucky’s. 

Peter arrived and helped them move Loki to the common floor where several boxes of pizza were waiting. Steve fixed Loki a plate and they sat down to watch a movie. "What's tonight's film Peter?" He smiled "it's my favorite, Beauty and the Beast." Loki rolled his eyes "oh great, another fairy tale. I have had my fill of those these last few weeks." Steve gave him a stern look. "It was Peter's turn to pick a movie, it is polite to watch and enjoy it with him." Loki crossed his arms. "I'm not in the mood for polite. My leg hurts, I'm homesick for a place that no longer exists and I have cramps to top it all off." 

They all froze. "What kind of cramps?" Loki looked at Steve. "The menstrual kind."   
"Oh. Why didn't you mention that. We have medicine for that, it should help your leg too." He rolled his eyes "yes because I wanted to tell one of you that I was on my cycle because that's not embarrassing." Bucky stood up "It's not embarrassing. We've been around women for a long time. It's not a big deal, just tell us what you need." He was digging in the cabinet and returned with a bottle of pills. "Take three of these. You can take more in about 6 hours. In the meantime, what do you need?" 

Loki was silent. He had only had his cycle twice before and both times it was stopped immediately. "I…..don't know….. I've never been allowed to actually have a full cycle." Bucky nodded "Ok. Well….. did you bleed a lot when you had it before?" He was nervous as Bucky patiently waited for an answer. "The….the second time...yes but only hours after the cramps." Bucky nodded "ok well we can handle that. Friday I would like access to ms. potts room if she asks, tell her Loki needed some things she'll probably understand." He took Loki to Pepper's room and found a box of pads and gave them to Loki. "You put this in your underwear, it catches the blood. Use as many as you need and tell us if you need more."

"How are you so ok with this. Even on Asgard it is treated with disgust. Thanos couldn't even deal with it properly." Bucky had stepped out to give him privacy. "Kid, I grew up with sisters I know all about that stuff."   
"But I am identified as male your men do not bleed like that do they?" He could hear Bucky chuckle "Not typically but it is a thing. Look I've seen so much in my life I don't question it so if a dude tells me he needs a tampon who am I to stop him." 

Loki came out of the bathroom. "You are an odd human James Barnes. Your Captain truly deserves your devotion to him. I will say I'm surprised to know you are the top." Bucky froze and began to blush as Loki laughed. "Remember, the hammer sings of her masters happiness and she has been singing the sweet songs of making love with you Captain like it was, how did she put it …going out of style. It has been quite some time since she has had true love and passion to sing of." Bucky shook his head and let out a breath. "Kid, that information better stay with you because I've been waiting over 70 years to get in his pants and I dont need some brat cock blocking me." Loki smirked "rest assured sergeant, I shall keep your intimacies to myself." 

They rejoined Steve and Peter in the common room. Bucky gave Loki a heating pad and fixed him a bowl of ice cream "this always worked for Becca." Loki smiled "you spoil me sergeant" he said with a devious grin. "He's good at spoilin' people" Steve purred as he pulled Bucky into his lap.

As they watched the movie Peter was very aware of the shameless makeout session going on to his right. He leaned closer to Loki. "If I didn't know any better I would say you did something to them." He smirked as he looked over. "My emotional state can be projected onto those around me. It's not my fault my hormones are making me horny. It's also not my fault that Captain Rogers has the emotional control of a teenager." Peter couldn't help but snicker. "Has he even come up for air over there?" He said loudly. Steve and Bucky scrambled off each other as Peter and Loki laughed. 

"Perhaps you two should get a room because I'm not sure how else you are going to deal with that star spangled boner." Peter was now nearly hysterical as Steve and Bucky excused themselves. "I hope the sergeant knows what to do with him." Peter shook his head. "That was hilariously wrong dude." Loki shrugged and settled "at least it means I can get some quiet." He and Peter watched a few more Disney movies when finally Peter got up to leave. "Where are you going?" He looked over at Loki. "I have to go home. May will worry about me." He sighed "alright. Goodnight." 

He laid on the couch alone until he couldn't stand it. "Friday? Am I allowed to go out on the balcony?"  
"You are permitted use of the balcony and the outdoor common space on the roof. The roof does have a few couches that might prove more comfortable for you." He carefully got up taking the blanket from the couch with him as he headed for the roof. When he exited he immediately saw most of the couch cushions on the floor and Steve and Bucky laying on them on the ground surprisingly clothed a cigarette clenched in Bucky's lips. "I didn't mean to intrude." He turned to leave but Bucky stopped him.

"You're ok. We came to get some air and talk. Plenty of room for you. Even left some cushions on that couch just incase you came up." Loki settled on the couch and began to doze. He could hear Bucky singing softly to Steve as he held him close.  
"If you should ever leave me, though life will still go on believe me, the world could show nothing to me ,so what good would living do me? God only knows what I'd be without you."

He couldn't help the tears in his eyes as he listened to the song. It made him think of home, his mother and of Thor. He had no one else in this world but Thor and he needed him now more than ever. He felt a gentle hand on his back and saw Bucky standing over him. "You ok?" He knelt so that he was at level with Loki. "Whatever you need just tell us even if it seems simple. You have to communicate that with us."

"I want to go home" He croaked. Bucky was running his hand up and down his back. "It sucks doesn't it. Wake up and it's all gone. I learned in my counseling that home is not so much a place it's a feeling. For me it's wherever Stevie is." Loki hiccuped "Thor is all I have left, and Bruce. When I'm better, where will I go? I do not think New Asgard wants me and I don't think I fit into Bruce's solitary lifestyle. I need them. BOTH of them." Bucky patted his hand "have you told them that? They are not mind readers." He shook his head. "I don't know how." 

Steve had now joined them "just be honest with them. I'm sure Bruce is more than happy to go with you to New Asgard and even if he isn't you can still visit each other and call each other." He was hugging the blankets tight "what if no one wants me."   
"Then you stay here. With us." He and Bucky looked at Steve in surprise. "I can?"   
"Of course. You don't have to be alone anymore." The thought seemed to soothe him and he was soon drifting back to sleep. Tomorrow he would talk to Bruce and Thor. Tomorrow he would have answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	10. Chapter 10

Thor sat in the council meeting barley hearing what Valkyrie had said. He didn't see why he needed to be here. As far as he was concerned whatever Valkyrie felt was best would work. She more or less ran New Asgard for the last 5 years. This was more for appearances. He was brought back by Bruce nudging him. "I'm sorry, can you repeat yourself?"   
"There have been rumours that Prince Loki is alive. What news have you of this?" 

Thor straightened in his seat. "Ah yes. My brother is alive. He was recovered with the other victims of the snap." There was a wave of murmurs through the room. "Do you plan on bringing him here to live?"   
"As he is my brother and prince of Asgard yes, if he so chooses to live here then he shall." He could read the room. They did not want this. "I understand you have reservations about his presence but I should remind you that he is the one who advised the evacuation at the time of Thanos's attack saving countless lives. He is also the reason we escaped Hela on Asgard. While he has made many errors I beg you to consider the steps he has taken to atone for those transgressions. While his rule of Asgard was under false pretenses was he not a benevolent king? Were you not cared for under his rule? You remember the tyranny, the violence and devastation Hela brought on innocent citizens? Loki did no such things to you. Asgard thrived in a time of peace under his watch. His means may have been deceitful but his heart was well meaning. When he comes home I expect him to be treated with dignity and respect that his station of prince requests. You should show him the same respect you still hold for me."

"Yes my king" they all murmured. Thor stood from his seat. "Will that be all you require of me?" Valkyrie shot him a look "do you have any idea when you will be returning my king?" Thor sighed "as of right now, I am dealing with my brother's health. The traumas of these past years have taken their toll and I do not feel he is ready to make the move here. I will try to come back as soon as possible but I am needed elsewhere. Valkyrie has done well managing in my stead and I trust she will continue to do so. Now if you will please excuse me I have a few things to tend to before I return to my brother." The hall emptied and Valkyrie came to him. "You handled that like a true king. Perhaps you are more cut out for this than you thought." He sighed and his shoulders sagged. "It should have always been Loki who was king. He is the diplomat after all." 

Bruce was standing behind him. "Perhaps when he is better you can give him a leadership role here." Valkyrie smiled "I'm sure he would be delighted.” She was still watching Bruce smiling “Is there any chance the big guy...can visit?” Bruce was very quiet. “You want to see him?” She nodded of course he is my friend just as much as you. I never had a chance to see him after the battle. I am told things have changed.” Bruce laughed nervously “Yea….a lot has changed...Thor would you um...excuse us?”   
“Of course Bruce. Call me when you are finished.” He left them to walk through the gardens. He had requested they be built to honor both Loki and his Mother. He sat against a tree and closed his eyes.

“I never wanted this, to rule, it was never my wish. If Odin had only respected that and took Loki as the son he raised him to be we would be home. So many lives would be so different.” He hardly expected someone to answer him as he thought out loud. “And yet you would not let me have the Throne I was promised since my birth.” He turned to see Hela leaning on the tree looking down at him. He jumped to his feet. “Not to worry brother, I have no dominion here. Your thoughts are quite loud and perhaps they are ones that should not be heard. Asgard even in this form would do well to have a leader that does not project his dislike for the station as openly as you do. They need strength and stability neither of which you seem to be able to offer at this time.” 

“Asgard does not need me to survive. Our people are strong regardless of leadership. They need to see that and in time I believe they will.” She frowned. “That or someone will usurp you. I hear that Loki is currently an adolescent. How did such a thing happen to him? I thought his use of sedir was unparalleled.” Thor didn’t answer. “So it’s true then. Are you up to the task of caring for a child Thor? Perhaps I should invoke a claim on him. I am after all the eldest. Even with a kingdom in shambles I still have much to offer him.” Thor turned to her. “Asgard still stands?” She nodded “In a manner of speaking yes it does but it is in ruin. No normal person could sustain a life there but someone who controls magic would have that ability, might even be able to restore it.” Thor could see where this was going. “You need Loki to restore Asgard but at what cost?” 

“Well Thor you caught on quick for once. Perhaps you are not as thick as I first thought. The cost is not much considering. Tell me how is Loki’s quality of life? Is he happy? Is he well?” Thor was getting angry. “He is being cared for and that is all you need to know. Now kindly leave me.” She sighed and began to walk away “When it comes to death Thor I know what I’m saying when I tell you, Loki has cheated it more times than any being should. When it comes for him and it will there will be no getting out of it no matter what mask he hides himself behind. His tricks will only get him so far.” With that she disappeared leaving him alone. He was well aware that Loki walked a fine line when he played with death. He pushed the thought aside. Now was not the time to let Hela upset him. He wasn't so sure she was really there to begin with. He began to walk towards his house to collect a few things and check on Korg. As soon as Bruce was done with Valkyrie he would be leaving. He was not fond of spending so long away from Loki right now.

Steve came back from his run soaked in sweat. Bucky and Loki were at the table eating breakfast. “Great you guys are up. It’s gorgeous outside so I figure we can go to the zoo.” Bucky shook his head and smiled “You always did like the zoo didn’t ya punk.” He leaned in to give Bucky a kiss but was quickly stopped “I love ya but you reek. Take a shower then kiss me.” Loki rolled his eyes “You two leave little to the imagination as to what happens behind closed doors.” Steve smirked “Which closed doors? The bedroom doors? The closet doors? The locker room doors?” Bucky punched his arm “What is wrong with you?” Steve giggled “I don't know I just couldn’t hold it back.” Loki was now grinning as Steve left the room. “The Captain’s condition is most likely my doing, by accident of course. Am I expected to go to this zoo with you?” Bucky looked up from his coffee “I mean if you don't want to you don't have to but we have the wheelchair for you. It would probably be nice to get out of the tower a bit. The zoo is a lot of fun.” Loki seemed to sulk for a moment. "Very well. I suppose it is better than being alone." 

They packed up and headed towards the Zoo. Thankfully Tony had allowed them the use of one of his cars so they didn't have to worry about getting a wheelchair into a cab. After finding parking they unloaded and made their way in. “I've never been to the Bronx Zoo.”   
“Me neither that's why I figured it would be fun for all three of us.” Loki wasn’t sure what he expected. He was familiar with the concept of zoos however none were had on Asgard. They moved from exhibit to exhibit as Steve excitedly read the signs to him telling him all about the animals they were seeing. Some of the creatures looked somewhat like the ones from Asgard. It was enough to make him feel homesick again. 

When they got to the tigers something about them really grabbed his attention. He had never seen the likes of them before. Yes they were large cats but their faces, their eyes, they were so beautiful. They radiated power and grace in fluid movement. There was a keeper currently in the enclosure talking about the tigers and showing how they hunt and play. Steve nudged Bucky and pointed to Loki. So far that morning he seemed bored with the zoo. Bucky grinned and walked away for a moment and returned with a stuffed tiger from the gift shop nearby. Without a word he dropped it in Loki’s lap. Loki surprised them when he looked back up at them and then hugged the tiger close. Steve had half expected a snide comment about not being a child while he still accepted the gift. The rest of the day was nice. They got popcorn and cotton candy and watched the penguins parade through the zoo. They were heading back to the car when the phone rang. “Good news Thor and Bruce will be back in about three hours.” 

The flight home seemed agonizingly long. Hela's words buzzed around in his head. He couldn't let her take Loki. Loki may be struggling but shipping him off would be the last possible thing to do. Bruce seemed to sense his troubles and broke the silence. "Did something happen while I was occupied?" 

Thor sighed "Hela came to me in the garden. She wants to take Loki home." Bruce raked his hands through his hair. "That's not a good thing." He shook his head. "No. She will try to convince him it is but she means to drain him of his sedir to restore Asgard. She means to usurp me but she does not understand that our people will not simply return to her just because Asgards stands strong again." 

"I'm sure if you discuss it with Loki you'll find he won't go anywhere without you. Speaking of his sedir...that's his magic right? How come he hasn't used it?" Thor stroked his beard as he thought about this. Surely there had been a few moments where his magic would have helped him these last few weeks. "Generally until one is of age they cannot use sedir without the guardianship of a master. While Loki has more than mastered it perhaps his current state is confusing things a bit. It's just as well, we certainly don't need Loki using his magic if he is not stable." Bruce hummed in agreement. 

"So… I wanted to talk to you….once Loki is better… I kinda want to stay in new york for a while but um…. Valkyrie …. She wants to see more of me too. Am I good to come back and forth?" Thor beamed "was there ever a doubt you were welcome Bruce? My people love you and a Valkyrie bride is quite a feat." Bruce held up his hands " no no no no, not like that. She and I are friends, that's it. She is not interested in me that way." 

"My apologies Bruce. I didn't mean to upset you." He gave an anxious smile "I know. Everyone wants me to find someone and settle but honestly….I'm ok on my own." Thor frowned "all alone?" Bruce shook his head "not alone. I have a family and even though they are spread out I have them….if they'll have me of course." Thor placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You have been a great friend and a shield brother for years, I would be honored to have you as my family as I am certain Loki would as well. He cares for you. He has found some sort of trust, some comfort that eases him. I value what you bring to both our lives and know my brother is better for it." Bruce was touched by Thor's words. It had been so long since someone spoke to him with such regard. "Thank you Thor, that means quite a lot to hear from you."

The rest of the trip was spent in comfortable silence. Back home Loki eagerly watched the window for any sign of their arrival not even removing his gaze as he ate the dinner Steve handed him. Three hours felt like eternity when he was so anxious for answers.


	11. Chapter 11

Experience is the only thing that brings knowledge, and the longer you are on earth the more experience you are sure to get.  
L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Loki had managed to doze off while waiting for Thor to return home. Bucky carefully placed a blanket over him and moved him to the couch. When Thor arrived Steve let him know to be quiet because Loki was sleeping. “I trust there were no issues?” Steve shook his head but Bucky spoke up. “Would have been nice to know the kid was gonna get his period.” Thor looked puzzled “I was unaware that my brother was capable of that.” Bruce’s head snapped up from the fridge. “You knew he was intersex but didn’t think he might have a cycle at all?” Thor sheepishly shrugged “It had never come up. I was under the impression that Mother had corrected the issue per Odin’s insistence.” This answer only seemed to agitate Bucky more. “Ya know the more I hear about this father of yours the more I think man this guy is a real piece of work. How the hell is Loki the only one as messed up between you two?” 

Thor’s expression darkened “I do not claim my father to be a saint but choose your words carefully Sergeant because he is still my father and you are passing judgment on things you could not begin to understand.” Bucky was now squared up to Thor. “What’s there to understand? Loki has been taught to feel ashamed about himself for every single thing from how he looks to the way his body is made while you are the golden boy placed on a pedestal hero of the hour who can do nothing wrong.” Steve laid a hand on Bucky’s arm “Buck…” He jerked away “No Stevie..just no. I’m surprised that you are being as quiet as you are. Someone bigger than you never stopped a fight before.” Steve sighed and nodded towards the couch where Loki was peering over at them. Bucky’s expression went completely blank. “Oh….Loki...I’m sorry...I should go.” Bucky quickly left the room and all attention was now on Thor.

“Thor...I have to agree with Barnes on this one.” He looked over at Bruce and nodded “Perhaps I let my emotions get the best of me.”  
“And your embarrassment for me.” He turned and looked at Loki “No...never. I am not embarrassed by you.” Loki glared “But aren't you? You were quite content to think mother...what was the phrase you just used.. Corrected me? As if I was wrong or broken. You were there when Bruce took that...that...THING out of me. Has it not occurred to you that everyone's method of fixing me has caused me so much pain and embarrassment? How would you like it if Odin had decided you were a woman despite how you are and found barbaric methods to fix you? What if your precious avengers went along those lines and gifted you with barbaric implants so that you were not an inconvenience to anyone? I was so foolish to think I could have a home with you again. Clearly I am destined to be left behind when I become too much of a burden for the great king of Asgard.”

Thor silently stepped over to Loki and took a seat next to him. “Loki...I have never aimed to make you feel shame at any time. I apologize if my ignorance made it seem that way. There was so much kept from both of us. I don’t even know where to begin. Please tell me if you feel I am hurting you.” Bruce moved over with them. “Loki have we done anything recently that has made you feel like this?” Loki’s eyes filled with tears “I don’t know….I’m so confused and I don’t want to be abandoned. I always end up abandoned and it’s always my fault. It’s always because I am wrong.” He was clutching the stuffed tiger as if it was the only thing holding him on earth. Thor noticed it and smiled “Who is your friend there?” Loki sniffed and looked up. “Um….” He quickly shoved the toy behind him. “Nothing...it’s nothing.” Thor had begun to reach for the toy. “No please….don’t take him…”

“Loki why on earth would I take it?” Loki held the toy defensively and stiffened “It is a toy and I am much too old for toys. I am not a child.” Bruce looked at Thor “Was this another rule of Odins?” He nodded “Yes father felt Loki might….man up as it were if childish play things were taken. By the time he was 13 Odin had removed all play items from the palace.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Loki I will personally tie anyone in a knot if they try to take your tiger. Even if it’s Thor, who I am certain would do no such thing” he said with a pointed glare. Thor smiled “Of course. I would never take something you love so much Loki. I am not Odin, I do not live by his rules anymore and neither do you.” Steve came over with some mugs for them. “This seemed like a good time for some hot chocolate. I’m gonna go find Bucky and check on him.” 

Once Steve excused himself Bruce cleared his throat “Don’t you have something you want to ask Loki about?” Thor looked at him “Oh that’s right. Hela came to me today….She has offered to take you back to Asgard. She says your Sedir is capable of restoring it from it’s ruin. I won’t stop you if you want to join her however consider the cost. I fear if you go with her there will be no return.” Loki shook his head “No. I don’t want to go with her. She scares me as does her dog. I won’t go. I won’t”   
“Shhhh it’s ok Loki. No one is making you go. With that said what do you wish to do when you are ready to settle? Would you care to come back to New Asgard with me or would you stay here in the city? Bruce will be staying here but has promised Valkyrie that he would visit.” Loki looked between them. “I….I don’t know….I don’t think new Asgard wants a monster like me.” Thor scooped Loki carefully into his lap. “Why are you so insistent that you are a monster? We have been through this so many times. You are not a monster.” Loki was still clinging to the tiger. “People are afraid of me. They do not trust me. I don;t even know what I am. I am confused. I am not Asgardian, I can’t even be properly gendered. Without my magic I would look horrific. Monster is the only word that can describe me.” 

He rubbed his hand up and down his back. “You are not a monster. I promise you that. We have seen monsters you do not fit the bill. If you truly were a monster I feel you would not be here this very moment. We will make a decision about your living arrangements when you feel better about it. For now Tony has graciously allowed us to stay here. Now if you excuse my I believe I owe James an apology.” 

He got up leaving Loki and Bruce together on the couch. “How did everything go with Steve and Bucky?” Loki looked down at the tiger and smiled “We went to the zoo today.” Bruce could see a look of pure happiness on his face. “Were the tiger's your favorite?” He nodded “They were beautiful. I have never seen the likes of them before. Many of the animals here are similar to those on Asgard but tigers were nothing like the creatures I have seen before. I would like to turn into one once I have my magic again.” 

“You can’t use it at all?” He shook his head. “It is there but it feels strained..exhausted even. I am unsure of the cause but when it is back I feel I should like to be a tiger for a while.” Bruce sat silently for a while. “Do you do that often? Turn into animals I mean?” Loki grinned “Sometimes. Snakes were the easiest to learn. Horses were my favorite but I always seemed to favor mares. I have never had a reason to attempt any sort of cat.” Bruce was taking note of the information Loki provided him. It was then that Loki’s eyes went wide as he looked at the window and began to shriek. Bruce saw two large Ravens perched on the balcony. “Loki they are just birds calm down. It’s ok they are outside.” He was started as the birds came inside right through the glass as if it didn’t exist. He got up to shoo the birds away while Loki cowered by the couch. 

Thor, Steve, and Bucky came rushing into the room and saw Bruce desperately trying to get the birds out. “Huginn! Muninn!” Thor rumbled and the birds both stopped and stood at attention. “Why are there birds in here?” Steve had stepped closer to inspect them. One flew at his face making straight for his eyes. Bucky quickie wrapped his metal hand around the bird’s throat. “James! Put him down!”  
“Not a chance Thor I’m not lettin’ these things tear Stevie’s face apart.” The other was now frantically shrieking at his feet. After a moment, Bucky finally let the bird go while Bruce took a look at Steve’s face. “Man Thor, another moment and Steve would have been down an eye. What gives?” Thor held out his arm allowing the birds to perch on it. “These are my fathers servants. I thought they would have died with him but it appears I am mistaken.” 

“How do you know they weren’t sent by Hela? If she was as close to Odin as you told me she may be using them.” He considered Bruce’s assessment “That would be a possibility. She is looking for a way to get Loki to asgard.”   
“Well why the hell did they attack me? I don’t have any issue with your sister.” He looked over at Steve “You wield Mjolnir, you are a threat especially since you are not Aesir. No one has wielded the hammer outside of my family. News of her new owner has no doubt spread through the realms.” Bucky was inspecting the injuries to Steve’s face “You saying king Arthur here just put the all call out on other people trying to nab the hammer?” Thor chuckled “It is possible but for now the biggest concern is that Hela knows and she does not like people getting in her way.” He turned to the birds “Huginn, Muninn, you will leave midgard. You no longer hold dominion here. Leave this instant.” The two birds left just as they had entered going straight through the window. 

Loki was still hiding from the birds even after they were gone. “No place is ever safe for me, someone is always watching me. I will never know peace, never know safety and security. These comforts were forfeit long ago if they ever existed at all.” Thor helped him off the floor. “Come brother let us get you into bed shall we? It sounds as though you have had a long day.” He kept staring back at the window “They will return, they will bring death and destruction. I have no choice but to join Hela in her kingdom.” He held him close “No Loki you do not have to go with anyone if you do not wish to. Hela lays no claim on you.” He moved to place him into bed. “Please stay? Just tonight. I fear they will return while you are gone again.” He nodded. “Allow me to get my pajamas and I shall stay.” Once changed he settled himself in the bed with Loki against his chest sleeping soundly. “Good night brother, sleep well.” 

The next morning at breakfast Bruce frowned as he looked at Steve’s face. “The serum should have healed those injuries easy right?” The scratch nearest to his eye was now puffy and weeping a bit. “Maybe Thor can tell us a bit more about this.”  
“More about what?” He looked at Steve’s face “It appears your abilities are no match for Huginn’s attacks. He is no ordinary bird, he is magic. Perhaps Strange may take a look at him? He may have a better solution.” Bruce nodded “Yea I was hoping I wouldn't have to bother him but it couldn’t hurt. I don’t want to do anything bad.” 

Strange furrowed his brow as he inspected the injuries. There was a whole pierced through Steve's cheek rimmed with black. "This is out of my area of expertise. I can hazard some guesses but ultimately this is an Asgardian issue." Thor let out a puff of air. "The healers in New Asgard may know what to do however I am not keen on leaving Loki again." Strange nodded "I agree you should not add more trauma in that area. I can use the portals, just send me a text when you are finished ok?" Thor nodded as they stepped through into New Asgard.

Thor led Steve to the healers making note of people stepping back from them. When they entered the healers home a woman met them. "My king! We were not expecting you and you have brought the new prince." Steve looked over at him. "By wielding mjolnir you do lay a claim to Asgard if I so chose. We have come seeking treatment for Steven. Last evening we were visited by Huginn and Muninn….it did not end well. Steven's injuries are most troubling."

The woman took Steve's hand "come Steven we shall see what the trouble is. Do not worry my king, the prince is in excellent hands." Thor waited patiently for over an hour. Finally Steve came out with one of the healers. They had applied dressings to his face. "My king, this salve should help his injuries heal. We also took the liberty of providing you with your mother's sleep remedy. It would appear the Prince and his lover have difficulties sleeping. There is a bag for prince Loki as well." Thor nodded. "Thank you. I will return. as soon as I can hopefully under better tidings"

Bucky was pacing the room as they waited for Thor and Steve to return. Tony Pepper and Morgan had arrived sometime after they had left and Tony and Bruce had been doing something in the lab while Pepper watched Morgan play. Loki sat reading a book checking the clock every few moments.

"James, it's going to be ok. Thor will bring him back. Here sit down, have some tea. Do you need anything Loki?" He looked up from his book "nothing that you can give me ma'am." She frowned "sweetheart it will be fine. Thor will return." As if on cue the elevator opened up and Steve and Thor came into the room. 

"Well what's the word punk?" Steve pointed to his bandages "nothin too bad. They gave me some stuff to put on it till it's healed." Thor handed the bags to Bucky. "The salve is in the red bag. The blue bag has mother's sleep remedy. The healers felt the two of you could benefit from it. They also sent some for you Loki." Loki nodded and returned to his book. "Well I'm glad you are ok Steve." Pepper walked over and gave him a hug. "Didn't expect you guys back." 

"Morgan starts school next week and some stuff with the company came up so it was easier to come back now. So how have my favorite love birds been?" Steve blushed a bit. "It's been...nice, great even."  
"I'm glad. It's nice seeing you settle down." Bucky rolled his eyes "nothin' about this punk has settled Pepper. Good thing the sound proofing's better here." Pepper gave them both an amused look. "I can honestly say private time is something I miss. Don't get me wrong I love Morgan but she is a light sleeper and hard to fool."

Steve smiled "all Tony's brains and all your ability to see through bullshit." Pepper laughed "god yes. She's incredible. She's everything." Bucky shrugged "we can baby sit if you need some alone time." Steve looked at him "we can?" He let out a snort " yeah we can punk. Least we can do besides you and I were pretty good with Becca back in the day so why not." Pepper smiled "well we have orientation at her school tomorrow and Tuesday but Tony and I would love if you could take her Tuesday night." Bucky nodded "sure thing."

Tony and Bruce returned a while later to find them watching Wizard of Oz, Steve's go to favorite movie. "Daddy I want a dress like Dorothy's" he smiled "I'm sure we can get one." Loki scoffed "why is everyone so alright with Dorothy entering a foreign land and immediately murdering someone with a flying house?" Steve shook his head "she did the munchkins a favor. The witch of the east was mean to them." Loki crossed his arms "and that makes murder ok?"  
"Tell ya what, I'll take you to the library and we will read the books then you can tell me what you think." 

Bruce smiled and leaned over to Pepper "I think he would love wicked." She nodded excitedly "absolutely and I know for a fact Steve has been wanting to see it as well." There was a sudden commotion "TWO! TWO PEOPLE?! she kills two people? What gives. She is no saint she is a murderer doing the wizards bidding for selfish gain. Why did she not make a deal with the witch for her needs." He turned to Thor "this Oz place must have taken leadership lessons from Father." Bucky was silently laughing at Loki's outbursts and Steve's desperate attempts to defend Dorothy." Tony clapped his hand together "ok well while you two argue over Dorothy's moral compass and Oz's deranged politics let's get some dinner. Seems like a good cookout night how about it? I can have some nice steaks here in about 20 minutes." They all nodded in agreement and went back to the movie as Tony, Thor, and Bruce moved to the roof to set up the grill and make sure the patio was ready.


	12. Chapter 12

Thor was particularly attentive to Loki over the next few days it was almost suffocating and yet he found that he loved the attention. Tony and Pepper had taken full advantage of Bucky’s offer to watch Morgan should they need some private time. Several nights of the week so far had been spent having movie night with them and Bruce. By Friday Loki couldn’t help feeling itchy. At breakfast Bruce looked around. “Um….how has no one noticed we are all scratching our heads.” Everyone was now looking around. Steve sighed “Please tell me we all just have a dry scalp problem and not lice.” Loki’s face contorted into one of disgust. “You have lice on midgard?” Steve nodded “Yup. We do.” 

Tony was now fighting every urge to scratch his scalp. “Hey friday go ahead and order lice shampoo just in case and turn up the bedroom temps to a lice killing degree.” Pepper got up from the table and returned a moment later with a magnifier and a comb and went straight for Steve. “Why me first and not your husband?” She smiled “well you and Thor have lighter color hair it’s easier to see nits on it.” He moved his head a little “Steve...please cooperate here.” He stilled as Bruce and Pepper combed through his hair. “Yup...looks like we get to have some fun today.” Steve looked at them “I haven't had lice since 1944 and the only good fix was to shave our head...please tell me the method has improved.” 

Bruce chuckled “I wouldn't so much say improved. Shaving your head is still the easiest. The shampoo kills them but you have to then comb the things out of your hair. An easy task for some, not so much for others.” He looked towards Bucky, Thor, Pepper, Morgan and Loki. “Hope no one had plans because this is going to take all day.” They all groaned at Bruce’s declaration. “Sorry we gotta nip this before it gets outta hand. Pepper you might want to call the school since I will be willing to bet that this came from Morgans orientation groups. Might be a good idea to check on Happy as well make sure he doesn’t have them. How long till that shampoo arrives Friday?”  
“It should arrive in about 30 minute Bruce.” He nodded "ok in the meantime we have to wash any and all fabric in our rooms sheets blankets pillows...stuffed animals.” He looked cautiously over at Loki.“That means my Tiger doesn’t it?”He nodded “It does. I will make sure you have it back as soon as possible but he really needs cleaned. It will be ok. “ 

They spent the day washing and carefully combing through each other's hair. Thankfully Happy had not shown any signs but May insisted that he and Peter take preventative steps since they were both around the tower often. “See Pep this is why I wanted a private school.” She frowned as she continued to comb through his hair “Tony lice can show up anywhere. You never got them as a kid?” He scoffed “No I did not. I went to school with people who cared about hygiene.”   
“Tony, hygiene doesn’t have a ton to do with who has lice. They need nice clean hair to survive. Dirty oily hair isn’t great for them besides some of those dirty kids in public school are that way because they may not have the ability to take regular baths at home.” He looked over at Steve who was lovingly combing through Bucky’s hair. “Why do I feel like you are speaking from experience there?” Bucky snorted “Because he is. He and Sarah had to come over once a week to our place because we had a bathtub and they didn’t.” Morgan's eyes went wide “You didn’t have a bathtub?” 

“Nope. They were very expensive when I was a kid and my mom couldn’t afford one and afford the medicine I needed.” She frowned “Everyone should be able to take a bath.” Pepper patted her head “They should sweetie that's why Daddy helps donate money for people who can’t afford things like that.” She nodded “If I ever met someone who didn't have a bathtub I would bring them here so they could use ours.” Pepper gave her a quick hug “That’s very nice sweetie. Loki it’s your turn to get combed.” He moved over to the chair and sat. “Is this going to hurt?” She shook her head “It shouldn’t hurt but if it does tell me.” He nodded as she gently worked the comb through. She then heard a frustrated huff from Steve and Bruce. “Buck...we might have to….” He looked up at Steve “Are you saying you gotta cut my hair?” 

“That’s exactly what we are saying. We have been at this over an hour with you and it’s just...so many lice.” He looked back at Steve “How short we talkin here pal?” He winced “Gonna look like 1943.” Bucky groaned "seriously? Fine, just do it.” Thor Looked at Bruce “Perhaps in a show of solidarity I shall also cut mine.” Bucky looked at him “No Thor you don't have to do that. I just..it’s just hair it will grow back.” Loki grinned and whispered something to Tony who looked as though he went through all the stages of grief before he let out a laugh. “Great, I now have that image seared into my brain. Good job kid.” Morgan was far enough out of earshot now. “What did he tell you?” Tony looked at Steve and got quiet. 

“I questioned if you cut the sergeant's hair too short will you still have anything to grab onto.” Pepper turned bright red as did Steve while Bruce dropped his scissors. “What...why would you say that?” Loki smirked “Your stammers tell me there is some truth to it.” Thor laughed “There is no shame in a bit of Bareback riding captain.” Tony immediately got up. “Ok I’m done,this is done. I cannot listen to you have this conversation.”   
“Why jealous Stark?” Bucky purred. He left without another word. “ He can’t see past the poster boy Howard raised him with huh?” Pepper shook her head. “Not really no.” Steve chuckled “Wonder what made Howard so delusional. I mean he was with us plenty.” Bucky shrugged “Ya don’t speak ill of the dead.” Bruce had resumed carefully cutting Bucky’s hair. Pepper patted Loki “All done sweetie. Thor if you want your haircut I can take care of it.” Thor happily switched places with Loki. 

When they were done Steve let out a whistle. “It doesn’t look bad at all Buck.”  
“At least no one will confuse you for a vagrant,” Loki smirked at him. “Very funny. I will have you know that was only one time.” Loki giggled “Once seems to be quite enough for most people sergeant Barnes.” Tony came back in the room “Hey look who just finished in the dryer.” He tossed the tiger over to Loki. “So how’d the chop job go?” He turned and looked at Bucky “Looks good. A bit old fashioned but hey you are old fashioned. So Who wants food? Does anyone else want food? I’m feeling mexican tonight. How does that sound? Good? Great? Awesome! Friday you know what to do.” 

A while later the table was filled with trays of various foods. Loki looked over each one and wrinkled his nose. “This all smells strange and spicy.” Thor looked over the selection. “I’m sure if you just try it you will like it.” Bucky smiled “We still have Macaroni left, I could warm some up for him.”  
“No, Loki needs to at least try something here before he decides he won’t eat it.” Steve was looking at things thinking about what he first tried when stark put him in the exact same position. “Here try the fajitas, it’s good.” Loki looked at him skeptically but accepted the offer. Steve carefully helped him fix a plate. He took a few hesitant bites but ultimately decided that it was edible. 

Some time after dinner Thor noticed that Loki had returned to his room. He excused himself to check on him. When he entered he was immediately drawn to the whimpering sound coming from the bedroom. Loki was curled on the bed stripped down to his boxers. “Loki...is something wrong?”   
“It...hurts Thor...It hurts.” He moaned. Thor sat on the bed trying not to jostle him too much. He laid a hand on Loki’s head. “You are very warm. What hurts?” Loki’s breath hitched “e..e...everything” He whimpered. Thor got up and grabbed a cool cloth and placed it on Loki. “I am calling Bruce up.” 

He came in and took a look at Loki. “Thor he is not warm he is burning up. He normally runs kind of cool.” He left and returned with an ice pack that he placed on Loki’s back. He relaxed into it a bit and let out a shuddered breath. “We have to cool him down Thor.” He nodded and came back with another ice pack and a cool cloth. “Give Bucky a call tell him we need the packs for when his arm over heats. Have him bring them up.” 

Bucky came in with the ice packs. “Whats going on?” Thor nodded towards Loki “My brother has taken ill and we cannot lower his body temperature.” Bucky handed Bruce the packs. “Look I’m not exactly a specialist or anything but um… maybe it was a bad idea to give a frost giant spicy mexican food?” Bruce paused “Ya know...that um...makes sense. He even mentioned it was spicy. We gotta get that stuff outta his system.” Thor looked puzzled “How do we do that?” Bruce adjusted the packs on Loki. “We either pump his stomach or we give him something to make him throw up. Both suck a lot but making him throw up is a lot quicker.” Before they could get any further Loki began to cough and retch. “Well….guess he made the call for us.” Thor lifted him from the bed while Bruce and Bucky cleaned the soiled linens and put new ones down. Thor stayed with him the rest of the night. Bruce came in periodically to change the ice packs and they had the air conditioning set to the lowest temperature Friday could allow. Thor ran his hands through Loki’s hair. “I am so sorry brother. I shouldn’t have forced you to eat something you clearly shouldn’t have. Every attempt I make at helping you only seems to do more damage. I can’t believe you would trust me to care for you in such a delicate state.” 

Loki looked up at him, his eyes half open. "I...forgive you...can you….sing...to me?" Thor smiled "of course I can." He adjusted a little bit and began to sing as he rubbed Loki's back.  
"The sky is dark and the hills are white  
As the storm-king speeds from the north to-night;  
And this is the song the storm-king sings,  
As over the world his cloak he flings:  
"Sleep, sleep, little one, sleep";  
He rustles his wings and gruffly sings:  
"Sleep, little one, sleep."

On yonder mountain-side a vine  
Clings at the foot of a mother pine;  
The tree bends over the trembling thing,  
And only the vine can hear her sing:  
"Sleep, sleep, little one, sleep—  
What shall you fear when I am here?  
Sleep, little one, sleep."

The king may sing in his bitter flight,  
The tree may croon to the vine to-night,  
But the little snowflake at my breast  
Liketh the song I sing the best—  
Sleep, sleep, little one, sleep;  
Weary thou art, a-next my heart  
Sleep, little one, sleep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song thor sings is the poem norse lullaby by eigene filed

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading kudos and comments greatly appreciated


End file.
